Hello Diary,
I normally never open you up because I’ve always thought it was such a dumb and phoney thing to do. Today, I really feel like sharing my thoughts with someone, yet I feel like talking to no one at all and spend some time reflecting on this thing we call life.
Now that I think about it, I grew up as such an eccentric kid. Why did I always think everyone was so fake and phoney. When I sit and think about it now, I lied about practically everything to everyone, I believed absolutely nobody except Phoebe. I guess it was all a part of going through puberty and teenage. I wish I trusted people a little more, made some more memories and bonds. It all feels a little strange now, I’m 21 now, I’m legally an adult.
When I think of myself and the person I was five years ago from today, I don’t know what to say. All I cared about was Jane and Sally and this girl and that girl. I wanted to explore the world so badly, that somewhere I lost the essence of my childhood. Now that I’m an adult, the world is my oyster, I can do whatever I want, go wherever I want. I should’ve let my innocence stay intact, enjoyed the purity of childhood for a little longer.
I want to set some goals for myself now. I want to trust people, bond with them and make memories. I want to reconnect with my family and friends and spend some quality time with them. I want to trust people, have faith and them and most importantly, I want to live in the moment. I want to take life one step at a time, enjoy the little things. In this next phase of my life, I want to be myself, I want to be happy.
I will talk to you soon. Until then,
Holden
